blood and bones

I had a large dose of Cyclophosphamide yesterday, up until early evening I was tolerating it quite well, and then I started feeling quite crappy. Well very crappy to be more accurate. I crawled to bed around 9.30 hoping to sleep it off but no such luck. As part of the treatment I’d been given an anti-nausea drip which came cut with a dose of steroids. These assured no sleep so I could benefit in full from feeling crap all night. The best way of describing it was like having a really, really bad hangover mixed in with hyperactivity. Here are some interesting facts about Cyclophosphamide:

From Wikipedia: Cyclophosphamide has severe and life-threatening adverse effects, including acute myeloid leukemia, bladder cancer, and permanent infertility, especially at higher doses. 

Which isn’t really surprising as I also discovered it’s a derivative of mustard gas used in WW1. According to the clinical nurse specialist I can expect 2 days of mustard gas poisoning followed by a brief respite before I become neutropenic.

Today’s data:

Stoicism: Wobbly lip = 3

Mood: low spirits ≈ 4

Control: A little controll= 3

Discomfort: 8= severe

The break lasted a bit longer than I envisaged. It’s been a difficult week, I’ve been facing the looming resumption of my treatment with the lead up to my stem cell transplant with all the psychological implications that brings….. and then my father had a heart attack. It was significant, but he pulled through, will be ok, and was released from hospital a couple of days ago. So on top of a week where I was going back and forth to UCLH to have various tests and scans and making bargains with the great sky god, I was also visiting poor dad in hospital.

Today my treatment resumed, I had a high dose of a chemotherapy agent called cyclophosphamide, and will have a week of injections to stimulate the production of stem cells. Next monday the stem cells will be collected and stored and possibly a week or so later I’ll have another high dose of chemo and they’ll be returned to me.

I’m facing a week where my blood counts and immune system will drop and I’ll become what’s called ‘neutropenic’. I’ll be very susceptible to infection and may have to be admitted to hospital if this happens. The injections will be administered to the stomach and I’ll do this at home with Peg’s help.

This week I finally signed off from work, clearing the decks, arranging cover finishing up jobs that have been hanging around for a bit. It was actually quite difficult, being at work = normality, being off work on ‘the sick’ means I can’t pretend anymore. I’ll miss the company of my friends (both staff and students). Some of them my even miss me ;).

Back to the data

Stoicism: Grin and bare it 6

Mood: felt subdued 5

Control: Some controll = 5

Discfort: Moderate = 3